How to get your social 5-a-day if you’re feeling lonely and isolated during the pandemic
Worry no more – we are here to help you emerge from your duvet cocoon as a social butterfly
Scientists recommend that you get 5 types of social interaction a day to stay happy and healthy – a bit like with your fruit and veg. That’s all well and good, but it is more complicated than it seems when you’re living through a global pandemic, you haven’t left your room in weeks, and your under-watered pot plants have become your closest friends. However, if you take a leaf out of the Flounder book and set your expectations REALLY low, it is possible to convince yourself that you have a thriving social life. Give yourself a pat on the back if you’ve managed any of these thrilling types of socialising recently:
1. Pet a dog in the street, then awkwardly remember there’s a human attached to it at the other end of the lead and exchange shy pleasantries.
2. Overshare about the contents of your basket to the checkout worker at the corner shop, who knows that despite all your protests the three tubs of Ben & Jerry’s are all for you.
3. Spend an hour shouting down the phone at your well-meaning grandparents who can’t figure out how to work the volume buttons on the smartphones they reluctantly own.
4. Make small talk with work colleagues about the posters, wall art and intellectual books they have carefully curated in the back of their Zoom frame to appear well-adjusted and chic.
5. Catch up with friends in a socially distanced and respectable way by getting drunk on cheap cider in the park, even though you stopped being able to feel your hands two pints ago.