{"id":10403,"date":"2021-10-28T23:34:26","date_gmt":"2021-10-28T22:34:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/?p=10403"},"modified":"2021-11-02T13:30:55","modified_gmt":"2021-11-02T13:30:55","slug":"pick-up-artist-can-the-toxic-skills-really-help-guys-find-their-true-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/pick-up-artist-can-the-toxic-skills-really-help-guys-find-their-true-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Pick Up Artist: Can the Toxic Skills Really Help Guys Find their True Love?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"has-medium-font-size wp-block-heading\">The Guardian UK reported in 2019 that teaching men how to become master pick-up artists in order to get women into bed is a staggering $100 million industry. But do these toxic skills work in Chinese? Can they really help Chinese guys find love? Why they choose to learn this toxic skill? How have their lives changed after learning PUA tricks? <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In mid-September 2021, Chinese people are just recovering from the COVID and are going out to the streets to enjoy the summer night. At that time, in the TaikooLi shopping district of Chengdu, several men appeared on the street and went up to the fashionably dressed girls with nice bodies and invited them to go out for a drink. The vast majority of the girls refused their invitations, but despite this, they persisted in striking up conversations with as many girls as they could. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Xia Lin is one of these guys, they are all students from a PUA skills course in Chengdu. Xia Lin hid away, smoking a cigarette in annoyance. \u201cI don&#8217;t really want to talk to these girls anymore, I find it useless and awkward. People won&#8217;t go with you, no girl would be that stupid.\u201d Xia Lin said, \u201cbut it&#8217;s better than staying at home and playing games to meet girls, that\u2019s why I\u2019m here. I really want to make some changes, about talking with girls.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-style-default\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-1024x576.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-10425\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-1024x576.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-300x169.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-770x433.jpeg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-1536x864.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-2048x1152.jpeg 2048w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-293x165.jpeg 293w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-1400x788.jpeg 1400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-1024x576.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-10425\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-1024x576.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-300x169.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-770x433.jpeg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-1536x864.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-2048x1152.jpeg 2048w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-293x165.jpeg 293w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG72-1400x788.jpeg 1400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption>Put learners are inviting girls to have a drink<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Xia Lin is the student member in this PUA skills course in Chengdu, and there are about 20 of his classmates in this session. PUA, or pick-up artist, is a group of men who have been skillfully trained to speak and act in a way that leads to seduction of women and sexual success, dating back to the 1960s. It was first introduced to China in the early 20th century through the translation of international students. The first PUA courses institution, called \u201cWandering Emotional Education\u201d (closed now), was opened in Chengdu, Sichuan Province, since then, PUA education has blossomed all over Chengdu. And the founder of this PUA education institution was one of the first apprentices of the Wandering Emotional Education.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThis company is upstairs in TaikooLi shopping center. They give lectures in the afternoon and bring us down in the evening for direct practice. A term then online class is 488CNY (around 50 Pounds), offline course 3999CNY (around 450 pounds). If we participate the night out practice, like going to the nightclub, then one person one night needs to pay 600CNY (around 65 pounds) or more.\u201d Xia Lin said, \u201cIn fact, what we pay is to share the seats in the nightclub so that we could invite girls. Sometimes we can get girls to drink with us, but rarely can we take them home (to have sex).\u201d Xia Lin took another hard drag on his cigarette and said, \u201cI don&#8217;t feel that the content of the lectures and the fees are of equal value, I don&#8217;t learn anything either. In fact, it&#8217;s just for fun, I don&#8217;t expect to really learn anything, but the guys I met here are all quite nice, so I can talk to these mates about anything that bothers me, maybe it&#8217;s worth it.\u201d Xia Lin smiled bitterly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized is-style-default\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG73-1024x576.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-10427\" width=\"770\" height=\"433\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG73-1024x576.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG73-300x169.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG73-770x433.jpeg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG73.jpeg 1170w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG73-293x165.jpeg 293w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 770px) 100vw, 770px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG73-1024x576.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-10427\" width=\"770\" height=\"433\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG73-1024x576.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG73-300x169.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG73-770x433.jpeg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG73.jpeg 1170w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/WechatIMG73-293x165.jpeg 293w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 770px) 100vw, 770px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption>A lecture about &#8220;how does PUA effect love&#8221; was wildly popular in Sichuan University.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p>I slept with a hundred girls to join the company, but I didn&#8217;t like any of them. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Huan Ma, who smokes with Lin Xia, 27 years old, is an assistant PUA coach at this PUA training institute. He met the PUA theory by chance two years ago. \u201cAt that time, the Wandering Emotional Education was hot, people told me that if I pay 5,000 CNY (around 550 pounds) I could learn the PUA theory, after learning and issuing a certificate of eligibility, I can enter the company as a PUA coach.\u201d Says Huan Ma. \u201cThere were many people earning 100,000CNY (around 11,000 pounds) a month in the PUA emotional education industry, so I was a little jealous.\u201d However, Huan Ma did not expect that after passing the theory, the company would have a rule called \u201cseduced 100 people\u201d. All the PUA masters must have sex with a hundred women and have their photos to be counted. \u201cI started out to earn money, so I started to know new girls widely on various social media apps. I used PUA tricks mechanically, messaged different women, and went to hotels to have sex and take photos every day.\u201d After completing the company&#8217;s \u201cSeduced100 people\u201d entry requirement, Huan Ma did succeed in getting into the company. \u201cIt was a really disorienting time, cheating on women for the sake of cheating on women. I became numb and I didn&#8217;t have sex for a long time after that.\u201d Huan Ma says, \u201cBut the incident still had a huge impact on me, I felt like I was wearing a fake face, living in this PUA condom, and whenever people talked to me, I would subconsciously respond them with PUA techniques. I wouldn&#8217;t get along with people normally anymore, less than find my true mate.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p>if falling in love is a game, then I&#8217;m going to be the strongest king.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Like XiaLin, Ziqiao Wang is also one of the members of this PUA skills course, but he holds the different thoughts. \u201cI think this course has grown on me quickly and benefited me a lot. Today was my first day to learn PUA, and I took nearly three pages densely packed notes. This PUA has completely reshaped my outlook on intimate relationships straight away, and I was particularly impressed with one quote. The coach said that girls don&#8217;t come by chasing, they come by attraction. What we need to do is to establish a persona of yourself and play him, and then flesh out your profile on social apps. It dawned on me that no wonder I had been chasing a girl like a licking dog for over three years before and she still wasn&#8217;t warm to me, but she was so passion to others as soon as they talked to her.\u201d Ziqiao&#8217;s eyes shone, perhaps because he was drunk, or because he was so excited, his face was flushed red. \u201cI&#8217;m a bit regret that I didn&#8217;t succeed in asking the girl to go home with me today. But after today&#8217;s learning PUA skills, I&#8217;ve found a more comfortable persona for myself and recreated my personal page on my Wechat moments. Now I dare to talk to girls now and I&#8217;m keen to give it a try, I&#8217;m now waiting for the girls we had drinks together just now to message me back, while I was too scared to send girls messages before, let alone drinking with girls.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After a week, Ziqiao Wang told the author that he managed to have sex with the girl he had drink with last week. \u201cIt was the second time we met, we went to a hotel straightly. She was very happy about what would happen. I felt the magic power of the PUA skills, it was so intimidating, everything advanced and developed exactly as written in the handbook. It was like everything following the script in my mind. As long as I kept following my virtual character, she would be obsessed with me.\u201d Now, Ziqiao has met several new girls on other social media apps, he chats with them at the same time and trying to seduce them. \u201cI&#8217;m not interested in her (the girl he met last week) anymore after I slept with her. Now I want to meet more girls with different personalities. I need practice and try a lot of times to make me invincible. I feel a strong desire of conquer comes out from my body, my goal is to seduce more girls to have sex with me in less time. I even want to find two girls to have sex with me willingly at the same time, it let me feels like an emperor.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dr Songwei Li, a psychologist at Peking University, says that the PUA traps do not really help men to improve themselves in chasing girls. \u201cIt&#8217;s actually an act that exploits human nature&#8217;s suffering and dependency for sexual purposes. While using personas to attract women, they are actually attracted to the characters played by the PUA players, not the real man. The true personality will grow to have low self-esteem, which is actually a stifling of the true male ego.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe class=\"zeen-lazy-load-base zeen-lazy-load\" title=\"PUA class\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" src=\"about:blank\" data-lazy-src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/v6ftCqJ7Fe0?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><noscript><iframe title=\"PUA class\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/v6ftCqJ7Fe0?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/noscript>\n<\/div><figcaption>A brief about what the PUA classes usually do. (Credit: Pengpai.)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p>It&#8217;s not me that makes you happy, it&#8217;s girls who can make you happy.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Although Ziqiao&#8217;s words sounded a little crazy, it was clear to see that the PUA skills course had brought about a change in Ziqiao&#8217;s life and personality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI&#8217;m actually quite an inferior person,\u201d said Ziqiao Wang, who was born as a child in a small town.&nbsp;&nbsp;His parents made ends meet by working as a street vendor every day, so that they had no spare time to look after him. \u201cI think they just raised me, and I can understand that they were also limited in their abilities, I guess, they really weren&#8217;t very capable.\u201d When it comes to his parents, Ziqiao Wang&#8217;s expression is a little indifferent, \u201cWe rarely have more intimate emotional communication, so I don\u2019t know what I can do when I found that I like a girl.\u201d Says Ziqiao Wang.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI hated poverty and I felt I was smarter than many people around me, but my living conditions were much worse than others.\u201d After studying at university, Ziqiao Wang soon became sensitive to the fact that his families were not just a little bit poor, \u201cHow can a poor young boy deserve to fall in love?\u201d Ziqiao says, \u201cI was intimidated by pretty girls, we were not in the same world at all, I don&#8217;t deserve to be in a relationship with someone who really sparkles.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After consideration, Ziqiao Wang find a girl who was in the similar family with him. He tossed around friends to get her contact number. \u201cOne day, on the encouraging of my roommate, I took her for a walk in the playground and we talked a lot. Actually, she spoke to me a lot and I was just listening, but I still felt happy. Then I suddenly got up the courage to grab her hand and I felt my heart beating so fast that it was about to pop out. But she immediately shook my hand away and I was in such an awkward that I couldn&#8217;t even say anything to apologise, I just stood there like a wood.\u201d Ziqiao Wang thought he had messed up, but he was not at all chagrined, he was even a little happy. \u201cThen I confessed to her at that night, I said, I like you, and I&#8217;m happy to think of you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI tossed and turned in bed waiting for her answer, but she told me that it&#8217;s not her that makes me happy, it&#8217;s girls who can make me happy; that I like being with the opposite sex, not her.\u201d The words were damaging to Ziqiao Wang, he even held a bit of a grudge from then on. Ziqiao wang would never allow himself to fail: he always did the best in his studies and he was the most active and present one in his class, even playing games. Ziqiao Wang says, \u201cI was a very proud person, but I failed to confess my love to a poor girl.\u201d Ziqiao says, \u201cAt that time, I was a sensitive and vulnerable person who lacked love. But there was another me in my heart, a strong me who faced life and pressure, a me who was so powerful that no one could match him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Via learning this PUA skills course made Ziqiao Wang find a sense of superiority that no one could match him when he was in school. \u201cThe powerful me in my body burned like a fire.\u201d He says. But when asked if he would tell his future girlfriend that he had taken a course of PUA skills, Ziqiao Ma froze, \u201cI haven&#8217;t thought about it yet,\u201d he says, \u201cI shouldn&#8217;t tell any of my girlfriends about it, I still don&#8217;t think using pua techniques is a decent thing to do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Guardian UK reported in 2019 that teaching men how to become master pick-up artists to get women into bed is a staggering $100 million industry. But do these toxic skills really work in China?  And why Chinese guys choose to learn this toxic skill? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":648,"featured_media":10404,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10403","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorised"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Pick Up Artist: Can the Toxic Skills Really Help Guys Find their True Love? - Life360<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/pick-up-artist-can-the-toxic-skills-really-help-guys-find-their-true-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Pick Up Artist: Can the Toxic Skills Really Help Guys Find their True Love? - Life360\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The Guardian UK reported in 2019 that teaching men how to become master pick-up artists to get women into bed is a staggering $100 million industry. 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And why Chinese guys choose to learn this toxic skill?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/pick-up-artist-can-the-toxic-skills-really-help-guys-find-their-true-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Life360\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-10-28T22:34:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-11-02T13:30:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/\u622a\u5c4f2021-10-27-17.49.20.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1750\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"764\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Wanyi Li\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Wanyi Li\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"10 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/pick-up-artist-can-the-toxic-skills-really-help-guys-find-their-true-love\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/pick-up-artist-can-the-toxic-skills-really-help-guys-find-their-true-love\/\",\"name\":\"Pick Up Artist: Can the Toxic Skills Really Help Guys Find their True Love? 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