{"id":9519,"date":"2021-10-26T21:38:51","date_gmt":"2021-10-26T20:38:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/?p=9519"},"modified":"2021-10-29T13:31:20","modified_gmt":"2021-10-29T12:31:20","slug":"from-lovers-to-enemies-children-become-chips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/from-lovers-to-enemies-children-become-chips\/","title":{"rendered":"From lovers to enemies: Children become chips"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">From the closest relatives and vows of eternal love to the bitter enemies and full of fits and lies of life, how does a relationship break down to the point where one parent abducts their own child?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9524\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-770x433.jpg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-2048x1152.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-293x165.jpg 293w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-1400x788.jpg 1400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9524\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-770x433.jpg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-2048x1152.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-293x165.jpg 293w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_9982-2-1400x788.jpg 1400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption>&nbsp;Xiaolei Dai was pictured while pregnant.(Credit: Xiaolei Dai)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Dai Xiaolei, 41, an art director who lives in Beijing, China, remembered being forced to flee their apartment when she saw her husband, a martial arts instructor Bailuo Bi, approach her with a wrench.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As the wrench hits televisions, decorations, washing machines, range hoods and dining tables, bits of glass and parts of household appliances scattered all over the floor. The love nest they had once decorated together was suddenly a ruin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI thought I might die if I didn\u2019t leave him,\u201d said Dai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In August 2014, less than 15 days before her birthday, she officially filed for divorce in a Chinese court.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>About eight months ago, their child was forcibly taken from Dai by Bi and his family, who prevented her from bringing the son back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She did not realize what it meant for Bi to abduct the son, and not allow her to live with the child anymore before they divorce, until the first trial verdict gave her the answer: Bi was granted custody of the child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Under Chinese law, judges tend to give custody to the person who is living with the child, and at that time, it was not explicitly illegal to abduct and hide children for custody, according to Jing Zhang, a leading Chinese lawyer in the marriage and family field.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThe visitation rights I have also not been granted at that moment,\u201d said Dai. Having lost the two rights, she has spent only 25.5 hours with her child since 2014.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Plant the seeds of love<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Dai moved to Canada from China with her parents at the age of six. After earning a master\u2019s degree, she entered the film industry and returned to hometown in 2004. The following year, she met Bi and a relationship was established.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bi grew up in a rural area of Hebei Province in north China, and learned Chinese martial arts at an early age. He had a completely different environment from Dai.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Apart from talking about movies, Dai felt they had little in common.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For Dai, her decision to marry Bi in 2009 was the seed of love. \u201cBut love is illusory, because it can change at any time,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-1024x576.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9311\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-1024x576.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-300x169.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-770x433.jpeg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-1536x864.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-2048x1152.jpeg 2048w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-293x165.jpeg 293w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-1400x788.jpeg 1400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-1024x576.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9311\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-1024x576.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-300x169.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-770x433.jpeg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-1536x864.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-2048x1152.jpeg 2048w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-293x165.jpeg 293w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2643-1400x788.jpeg 1400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption>Wedding photos of Xiaolei Dai and her ex-husband. (Credit: Xiaolei Dai)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>She felt now that she had neglected compatibility in the relationship. \u201cIf two people have very different backgrounds and foundations, a lot of the gaps can\u2019t be filled,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, Dai, who was in love at the time, was not aware of these problems, and was completely immersed in the sweet illusion. \u201cAt first, he would do whatever I wanted,\u201d said Dai. \u201cHe gave me a feeling of admiration for me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Before getting married, Dai told Bi that she wanted to have an equal status in the family relationship, and continue to do the work she loved. She said Bi promised her.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt was all fake, completely changed after marriage, and he was not satisfied with everything about me,\u201d said Dai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In June 2014, their relationship reached a freezing point for her. But Bi could not be reached directly for comment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Into a spiral of violence<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Dai, at that time, Bi finished shooting Nirvana in Fire, a Chinese TV drama, and returned home, and was very excited. Because it would be a pivotal turning point in his career \u2013 the lead cast included many of Chinese top actors, which meant the show would be a big hit once it aired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In fact, as the series turns out, the show ranked third in total viewing on the Internet in 2016, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.chinanews.com\/yl\/2016\/01-11\/7711023.shtml\">according to a report<\/a> jointly released by Youku, a major Chinese video-sharing website, and EntGroup, a data analysis company.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHe felt he had made it, and began to look down on me,\u201d said Dai. \u201cHe cheated on me, hit me, called me names. If I don\u2019t want to accept it, that\u2019s my business, not his.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For no reason, he would hit her and kick her when he did not like her, according to Dai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI live every day on the edge \u2013 not knowing when I said something to upset Bi, and then being abused,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Based on evidence provided by Dai, the Beijing court found that Bi had committed domestic violence against Dai during their marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As a result, the court ordered Bi to compensate Dai \u00a55,000, about \uffe1560, for mental damage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9529\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-770x433.jpg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-293x165.jpg 293w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-1400x788.jpg 1400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9529\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-770x433.jpg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-293x165.jpg 293w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2759-1400x788.jpg 1400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption>Photos of previous injuries of Xiaolei Dai from Domestic Abuse.(Credit: Xiaolei Dai)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>According to her, the first time she was beaten by Bi was six months after their wedding. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHe tripped me up with a broom, and then held a pillow over my nose to keep me from breathing,\u201d she said. \u201cI could have died in a few seconds.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She felt very disappointed when she first discovered that her lover was a man who liked to use his masculine power to resort to violence against his wife.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI didn\u2019t expect him to treat me like this, and I never thought I would become a victim,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dai can not stand domestic violence.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWhen it first happened, I was ready to divorce him,\u201d she said.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She changed the lock on the apartment, packed up all Bi\u2019s belongings and delivered them to his home in Hebei province.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, she hesitated later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI think I\u2019ve put in so many years: worked so hard in China, bought my house, found a nice job, but what if I lost my family,\u201d she said. \u201cI should try again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Later, when she thought about her decision to give up the divorce, she regretted it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;In fact, the more opportunities I gave the man, the more he saw me as an easy target,&#8221; she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In 2012, the baby was born. The bubble filled with happiness surrounds Dai, but then she suffered domestic violence again, and her son has been abducted by Bi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Maybe he did it because he thought he had fulfilled his duty as a Chinese male,&#8221; said Dai. Some Chinese are influenced by the traditional belief that men must have a child of their own, especially a boy, to complete the task of carrying on the family line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A result of a dissertation in Journal of Women in Culture and Society shows that when most parents in rural China are asked about their ideal family, they say they would like to have two children, at least one of whom must be male. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe class=\"zeen-lazy-load-base zeen-lazy-load\" title=\"Parental Abduction: A mother is on her way to find her child\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" src=\"about:blank\" data-lazy-src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/VQuT8xd8F98?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><noscript><iframe title=\"Parental Abduction: A mother is on her way to find her child\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/VQuT8xd8F98?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/noscript>\n<\/div><figcaption>Credit: Qiyuan Wei<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cMany mothers, like me, whose children have been abducted by their ex-husbands suspect that these men are engaged in marriage fraud,\u201d said Dai. Marriage is not the goal, but children are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Marry a woman, have a child, abuse his partner and abduct their child if he wants. If true, this set of movements is flowing smoothly, as if this kind of man was playing a set of Chinese martial arts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The bubble burst, and they went from lovers to enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>An untrustworthy relationship<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>At the same time Jia Liang, 34, from Beijing, China, had just given birth and discovered the unsightly side of her partner, Cao Liu, who had been having sex with four women at the same time during her pregnancy, according to Liang.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She decided to part company with him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWhat I can\u2019t stand most is when he sent a photo of my newborn baby to one of his sexual partners, and asked the baby to call her \u2018mom,&#8217;\u201d said Liang.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The psychological and physical pressure made her not want to quarrel with Liang, just wanted to end the relationship as soon as possible. Liang suffered from depression during her pregnancy and was weak after the delivery.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She had a showdown with him. \u201cHe said the child should either be his or mine,\u201d said Liang. \u201cFinally, he gave up the right of custody and cut off contact with me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI raised the child alone for four years after birth,\u201d said Liang, until the child was deliberately taken to France by Liu in 2019 and prevented the mother and son from meeting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Liu said he is currently engaged in legal proceedings with Liang in France. As a result, he cannot be interviewed at this stage of the trial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI think my biggest mistake was that I didn\u2019t ask him to sign a legal document to clarify the matter after Liu confirmed that he was giving up custody,\u201d said Liang. \u201cThis led to endless trouble for me afterwards.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Liang, who does not speak French, was forced to leave her job and life in China in order to find her child, and live in another country.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"410\" height=\"1024\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/app-statistics-on-ASIAN-MARKET-2-410x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9315\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/app-statistics-on-ASIAN-MARKET-2-410x1024.png 410w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/app-statistics-on-ASIAN-MARKET-2-120x300.png 120w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/app-statistics-on-ASIAN-MARKET-2-770x1925.png 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/app-statistics-on-ASIAN-MARKET-2.png 800w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/app-statistics-on-ASIAN-MARKET-2-293x733.png 293w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 410px) 100vw, 410px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"410\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/app-statistics-on-ASIAN-MARKET-2-410x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9315\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/app-statistics-on-ASIAN-MARKET-2-410x1024.png 410w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/app-statistics-on-ASIAN-MARKET-2-120x300.png 120w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/app-statistics-on-ASIAN-MARKET-2-770x1925.png 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/app-statistics-on-ASIAN-MARKET-2.png 800w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/app-statistics-on-ASIAN-MARKET-2-293x733.png 293w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 410px) 100vw, 410px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption>Credit: Qiyuan Wei<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Liang\u2019s encounter with Liu sounds like something out of a romantic novel, but for her, \u201cthe process of falling in love makes me feel sick,\u201d she said.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She first learned of his existence in a documentary, which follows the lives of freelance artists in Beijing. Liu is one of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Liang, who majored in media at University, joined a documentary studio as a volunteer. As luck would have it, Liu came here one day.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWe were chatting all the time and it felt good,\u201d said Liang. Later, they kept in touch more and more, and finally became a couple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Liang, despite Liu\u2019s reluctance to marry, she became pregnant after about 4 years of dating and agreed to give birth to the child.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHe said he wanted freedom and didn\u2019t want the piece of paper with the marriage certificate printed on it,\u201d said Liang. \u201cI was so young, and he brainwashed me so badly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then, \u201che thought the child was a disaster,\u201d said Liang, \u201cbut I decided to have the baby anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She thought the baby was innocent &#8211; she could hear his heartbeat, feel his movements. &#8220;I have no right to end a life,&#8221; she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Liang\u2019s parents did not know from conception to delivery. \u201cI was afraid to tell them,\u201d she said. After her baby was born, she finally told her family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Since then, she has been living with her child in Beijing, and Liu no longer pays attention to the child, according to Liang.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI was young, and I had resilience,\u201d she said. \u201cI felt like I can earn enough money to raise a child alone, and I won\u2019t be worse off than anyone else.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The sudden disappearance<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>At the end of 2018, the child developed symptoms of pediatric hernia: stomach pain. Liang took him to a hospital for treatment. \u201cAfter that, he didn\u2019t have any discomfort,\u201d said Liang. Doctors had recommended surgery in two to three years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHis father may have felt that the opportunity came then, and he was firmly opposed to the child having surgery in China,\u201d said Liang.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Tang, he claimed he had to take his child to France for surgery, citing poor medical conditions in Beijing, and took away the child&#8217;s passport. &#8220;I believed it,&#8221; she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2635-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9312\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2635-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2635-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2635-770x433.jpg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2635.jpg 1184w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2635-293x165.jpg 293w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2635-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9312\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2635-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2635-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2635-770x433.jpg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2635.jpg 1184w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/life360\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2021\/10\/IMG_2635-293x165.jpg 293w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption>Xiaolei Dai with her son in Canada.(Credit: Xiaolei Dai)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>On April 4, 2019, Liang found that the child who went out with Liu had not returned for a long time.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cLiu said that the child had fallen asleep after eating, and he would bring him back tomorrow,\u201d she said.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI didn\u2019t think he would abduct my kid, because he didn\u2019t take any of the child\u2019s personal belongings with him, just the person.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That night, she could not get through to Liu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The next morning, Liang received a message from Liu. \u201cHe said the child was already in France,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Liang could no longer contact Liu, because he moved her number into the blacklist.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Since then, Liang has started a series of transnational trips to retrieve the child.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How does a relationship break down to the point where one parent abducts their own child?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":603,"featured_media":10127,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[272,273,275],"class_list":["post-9519","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorised","tag-crime","tag-equality-2","tag-human-rights"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.2 - 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