{"id":38680,"date":"2020-01-21T12:41:02","date_gmt":"2020-01-21T12:41:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jomec.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/?p=38680"},"modified":"2020-01-21T12:41:02","modified_gmt":"2020-01-21T12:41:02","slug":"meet-the-woman-behind-the-happy-to-chat-benches%e2%80%af","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/2020\/01\/21\/meet-the-woman-behind-the-happy-to-chat-benches%e2%80%af\/","title":{"rendered":"Meet the woman behind the Happy to Chat benches\u202f"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Friendship scheme that started in Roath Park has spread across the world<\/h3>\n\n\n<p>One day last summer, Allison Owen-Jones was walking through\u202fRoath\u202fPark when she passed an elderly gentleman who was sat all alone on a wooden bench. <\/p>\n\n\n<p>The retired lecturer saw how the old man\u2019s face lit up when her dog approached him \u2013 but also how his expression dropped again once the dog ran off.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"960\" height=\"549\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/jomec.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/allisoncropped-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-38685\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2020\/01\/allisoncropped-1.jpg 960w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2020\/01\/allisoncropped-1-300x172.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2020\/01\/allisoncropped-1-770x440.jpg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2020\/01\/allisoncropped-1-500x286.jpg 500w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2020\/01\/allisoncropped-1-293x168.jpg 293w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 960px) 100vw, 960px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"960\" height=\"549\" src=\"https:\/\/jomec.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/allisoncropped-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-38685\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2020\/01\/allisoncropped-1.jpg 960w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2020\/01\/allisoncropped-1-300x172.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2020\/01\/allisoncropped-1-770x440.jpg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2020\/01\/allisoncropped-1-500x286.jpg 500w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2020\/01\/allisoncropped-1-293x168.jpg 293w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 960px) 100vw, 960px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption>Allison sat on a bench in Abergavenny<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n<p>Allison,\u00a053, recalled thinking that she \u201cshould go and sit and talk to him, because he looked like he made a real effort to get there\u201d.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<p>The Welsh may be known for their friendliness, but Allison,\u202fwho is\u00a0originally from just outside Swansea\u00a0and now based in Cardiff, felt overwhelmed at the thought of approaching a stranger. <\/p>\n\n\n<p>What would the man think if she just went over and chatted to him out of the blue? Would he think she was weird?\u202fWhat if he didn\u2019t even want to chat in the first place?\u202f\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n<p>Even as social creatures, something as seemingly normal as sitting next to someone on a bench and chatting to them can feel too far out of our comfort zone.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<p>This social barrier can lead to a feeling of loneliness, which the National Survey for Wales found\u00a0at least\u00a054% of people have felt.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<p>The solution? A simple sign with three little words printed on it &#8211; &#8220;Happy to Chat&#8221;.\u202f\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<p>Allison knew that she wanted something that didn\u2019t sound too needy or pushy. <\/p>\n\n\n<p>After some thinking, she came up with\u00a0\u201cHappy to Chat\u201d. She then laminated her homemade sign, attached some string around it and hung it up on the wooden bench\u00a0in Roath Park\u00a0to get\u00a0strangers\u00a0talking. <\/p>\n\n\n<p>The first sign stayed up for a week\u00a0in May, which Allison recalls \u201cwas important to me as it hadn\u2019t been taken down. I could see people standing around and looking at the sign and talking about it.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n<p>Ever since, the scheme\u00a0has expanded all over England and Wales and even overseas in Melbourne, Australia and New York.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<p>Although age may be a considerable factor, loneliness is by no means exclusive to the elderly. <\/p>\n\n\n<p>Allison recalls a\u00a0woman\u00a0who told her that she used to be very social before her kids grew up and moved away from home. She used to strike up conversations with parents outside the school gates and found that, in general, people were more willing to approach her when her kids were younger.\u202f<\/p>\n\n\n<p>\u201cThere\u2019s a gap there. Nobody wants to talk to people because they think they\u2019re being rude or pushy,\u201d said Allison.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<p>Another memorable encounter came from a Muslim\u00a0woman\u00a0who told Allison that she rarely went outside. <\/p>\n\n\n<p>Allison remembers the story in\u202fdetail: \u201cShe was quite afraid. Her face wasn\u2019t covered, but she had a headdress on. She was saying she never usually went out to the park by herself, but the doctor told her she was pre-diabetic, so she forced herself to go out. <\/p>\n\n\n<p>&#8220;She was happy that someone talked to her. I don\u2019t know what she thought people might say, but it was striking how she had taken the nerve.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<p>A story from a widow who sat on one of the benches in Abergavenny said that speaking to strangers had saved her life after her husband had died. Allison told of how the widower was feeling \u201cvery low, and it\u202fgot her through a very dark time\u201d.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<p>&#8220;After the next month, the council had obviously had enough of me,\u201d Allison joked. So, she took her idea one step further and asked the council to put them up permanently. <\/p>\n\n\n<p>While waiting for their response, she sat at her computer and\u202fsearched for\u202fthe Happy to Chat benches.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<p>To her surprise, the signs had popped up all over the north of England and in London, all in various colours, but using the same phrasing.\u202f<\/p>\n\n\n<p>\u201cThree permanent ones will be engrained in the wood, so they\u2019ll look better. The problem with my signs is that if the wind gets them, they move,\u201d she chuckled.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<p>Allison acknowledged that one issue with the benches is that they\u2019ll be used less in the winter because it\u2019s wet and windy and cold. <\/p>\n\n\n<p>Still, with the permanent benches now set up across Cardiff, Allison hopes more people will know where to go if they need a good chat.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<p>The Happy to Chat benches\u202fhave been set up in\u202fRoath Pleasure Gardens, Hailey Park and Bute Park.\u202f<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Friendship scheme that started in Roath Park has spread across the world One day last summer, Allison Owen-Jones was walking through\u202fRoath\u202fPark when she passed an elderly gentleman who was sat all alone on a wooden bench. The retired lecturer saw how the old man\u2019s face lit up when her dog approached him \u2013 but also how his expression dropped again once the dog ran off.\u202f\u00a0 Allison,\u00a053, recalled thinking that she \u201cshould go and sit and talk to him, because he [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":105,"featured_media":38688,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36],"coauthors":[],"class_list":["post-38680","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-longer-reads","tag-allison-owen-jones","tag-bute-park","tag-hailey-park","tag-happy-to-chat","tag-happy-to-chat-benches","tag-loneliness","tag-roath-park","tag-roath-pleasure-gardens"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Meet the woman behind the Happy to Chat benches\u202f - The Cardiffian<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/2020\/01\/21\/meet-the-woman-behind-the-happy-to-chat-benches\u202f\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Meet the woman behind the Happy to Chat benches\u202f - The Cardiffian\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Friendship scheme that started in Roath Park has spread across the world One day last summer, Allison Owen-Jones was walking through\u202fRoath\u202fPark when she passed an elderly gentleman who was sat all alone on a wooden bench. 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