{"id":79732,"date":"2023-12-16T16:49:31","date_gmt":"2023-12-16T16:49:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/?p=79732"},"modified":"2023-12-17T16:02:30","modified_gmt":"2023-12-17T16:02:30","slug":"i-was-lost-before-i-came-here-christmas-with-a-charity-helping-invisible-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/2023\/12\/16\/i-was-lost-before-i-came-here-christmas-with-a-charity-helping-invisible-women\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8216;I was lost before I came here&#8217;: Christmas with a charity helping &#8216;invisible women&#8217;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading has-large-font-size\">The women\u2019s centre is a lifeline for those with nowhere to go for the holiday<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">CHRISTMAS is a difficult time for those without a family or stable home life. The women who go to Safer Wales\u2019 women\u2019s centre often feel forgotten.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left has-medium-font-size\">Jane Coppock manages the Street Life project at Safer Wales, and has been working at charities for about 40 years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left has-medium-font-size\">&#8220;I personally struggle with Christmas &#8211; it&#8217;s such a happy time for most people but there&#8217;s a lot of loss with whatever they&#8217;ve been through,&#8221; she told me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left has-medium-font-size\">Safer Wales, a charity based in the city centre, has spent 20 years supporting women who have been the victims of domestic violence, sexual abuse, and exploitation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left has-medium-font-size\">Its centre is a space where these women can come to get food parcels, use the washroom, or just relax in a warm place with others in a similar situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Street Life works with women who are sexually exploited. Ms Coppock told me: \u201cPreviously, that would have been sex working, but we use sexual exploitation because that\u2019s what they are \u2013 they\u2019re being sexually exploited.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-cover alignfull has-parallax\"><span aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-cover__background has-background-dim\"><\/span><div role=\"img\" class=\"wp-block-cover__image-background wp-image-80286 has-parallax\" style=\"background-position:50% 50%;background-image:url(https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/winter-1791370_1280-1-1024x682.jpg)\"><\/div><div class=\"wp-block-cover__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-cover-is-layout-flow\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote has-medium-font-size\"><blockquote><p><mark style=\"background-color:#000000\" class=\"has-inline-color has-white-color\">It\u2019s just one moment of violence, but it\u2019s years and years of aftermath.<\/mark><\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Melissa, not her real name, often comes to the centre. She told me: \u201cI\u2019m a writer, I make a little bit of money online writing. But, mostly I make my money sex working.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cI know girls on probation, they see me in the street and they ask, \u2018why do you come here voluntarily?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cReally? It\u2019s warm food. It\u2019s positive. It gives me a bit of routine structure. If I come in every day, I tend to be a lot more stable than if I\u2019m missing sessions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">After studying at university for three years, Melissa worked as a researcher for a charity but since experiencing violence during lockdown she has struggled to stay employed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">She told me: \u201cI just kind of crumbled. I lost my job from just being too traumatised to work. I lost my money, I lost my network, I lost my routine \u2013 and I\u2019m just trying to claw it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cIt seems very unfair that I lost all of those things, you know? It\u2019s just one moment of violence, but it\u2019s years and years of aftermath.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Melissa has an account on Fiverr where she is paid to write blog posts for clients, earning around \u00a3100 for each one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">She said to me: \u201cThey tell me stories and I write them up. A little bit like what you\u2019re doing here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cIt\u2019s not stable enough to be a job, but at night, it\u2019s a win. I always feel proud when I make legitimate money.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-large-font-size\">A safe space to go<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-media-text alignfull is-stacked-on-mobile is-image-fill\" style=\"grid-template-columns:39% auto\"><figure class=\"wp-block-media-text__media\" style=\"background-image:url(https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-768x1024.jpg);background-position:66% 54%\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-80407 size-full\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-770x1027.jpg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-293x391.jpg 293w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-1400x1867.jpg 1400w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-80407 size-full\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-770x1027.jpg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-293x391.jpg 293w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1-1400x1867.jpg 1400w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-3-1.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure><div class=\"wp-block-media-text__content\">\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Many of the rooms have been decorated by the women who use the centre, with art that they made hanging from the walls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Melissa said: \u201cOne of the things I like about this place is you can be quite candid. Really know you can talk really openly about violence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cWhereas if I was like, in an office place or something, I would have to be really mindful about what I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cAnd that kind of feels like you\u2019re living in secret \u2013 you\u2019ve got this public life, and then you\u2019ve got this real life back at home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cI\u2019ve got no problem with anybody knowing my business. But in this world it just doesn\u2019t work like that, so we have to have safe spaces where we can be ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Ms Coppock said: \u201cThat\u2019s why I think the centre is such a fantastic resource. The women see this as their safe space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cAnd they aren\u2019t judged, that\u2019s a big thing, they say we don\u2019t judge them. They feel that everyone is against them and it becomes a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left has-small-font-size\"><strong>A room in the centre, with one of the women&#8217;s art hanging on the wall.<\/strong> Credit: Catherine Linnie-Godden<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-large-font-size\">Christmas at the centre<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Walking into the centre, the first thing that catches your eye is the notice board displaying the women\u2019s Christmas wishes. One woman wishes for world peace, another to win the lottery, and another to have their children again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-cover alignfull has-parallax\"><span aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-cover__background has-background-dim-20 has-background-dim\"><\/span><div role=\"img\" class=\"wp-block-cover__image-background wp-image-80403 has-parallax\" style=\"background-position:50% 50%;background-image:url(https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-4.jpg)\"><\/div><div class=\"wp-block-cover__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-cover-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-large-font-size\"><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center has-small-font-size\"><strong>The women&#8217;s Christmas wishes at the Safer Wales centre. <\/strong>Credit: Catherine Linnie-Godden<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Catherine Linnie-Godden is the activities coordinator at Safer Wales, and she\u2019s worked at the charity for three years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">She said: \u201cIt\u2019s a really difficult time for them. Their moods are all up and down \u2013 they\u2019ve just been reminded of things they haven\u2019t got.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Another woman at the centre, Alice, not her real name, said: \u201cIt\u2019s just a lonely time at Christmas, obviously. I don\u2019t know where I\u2019m going to go \u2013 that\u2019s the hardest thing, everyone\u2019s got family, I have nobody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cThe centre saved my life to be honest with you. I was lost before I came here. I used to get into trouble all the time. These people saved me in my eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Like most who come to the centre, Alice has made many close friends there. She said: \u201cI wouldn\u2019t be able to cope without my friends. That\u2019s who got me through most of it to be honest with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cIt\u2019s hard to trust people when you\u2019ve been through what I\u2019ve been through, but I\u2019m a survivor, and that\u2019s all that matters. When you\u2019re on your own \u2013 your friends are all you have, so you\u2019ve got to hold on to them. Very tight.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Alice asked what I was doing for Christmas. I told her I was going home to see my family and she replied: \u201cOh you\u2019re so lucky, so lucky. I envy you \u2013 I hope you look after them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Melissa told me: \u201cI\u2019ve been building some bridges with some of my family. So I\u2019m gonna have my first Christmas with my mother since I was a kid \u2013 and I\u2019ll tell you that I\u2019m going to be spoiled that day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cSo I\u2019ve got to work harder \u2013 I\u2019ve had to kind of take maybe some more dangerous jobs and maybe make some decisions that I wouldn\u2019t have otherwise to have the money for Christmas.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-cover alignfull has-parallax\"><span aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-cover__background has-background-dim\"><\/span><div role=\"img\" class=\"wp-block-cover__image-background wp-image-80384 has-parallax\" style=\"background-position:50% 50%;background-image:url(https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/christmas-3015776_1280-1024x670.jpg)\"><\/div><div class=\"wp-block-cover__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-cover-is-layout-flow\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote\"><blockquote><p><mark style=\"background-color:#000000\" class=\"has-inline-color has-white-color\">I\u2019m gonna have my first Christmas with my mother since I was a kid \u2013 and I\u2019ll tell you that I\u2019m going to be spoiled that day.<\/mark><\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-large-font-size\">What the centre means to the women<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-media-text alignfull has-media-on-the-right is-stacked-on-mobile is-image-fill\" style=\"grid-template-columns:auto 41%\"><div class=\"wp-block-media-text__content\">\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">The women at the centre take part in activities as a group, like cross stitching. Alice told me: \u201cI do it every week, it keeps me level headed. Keeps me on top form, around the most beautiful people.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">The centre encourages them to take courses in the things that they enjoy. One woman who loves to cook was put on an online course to complete a level two food and hygiene certificate and passed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cShe\u2019s so over the moon with herself for doing that and it\u2019s really great,\u201d Ms Linnie-Godden told me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Rebecca, not her real name, is a service user who also volunteers with the charity.&nbsp; She said: \u201cI like to give help to women, and it makes me feel good that I\u2019m giving help back. They feel like if they have problems they can come to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cObviously there\u2019s also the staff, but it makes me feel good that they can come to me and speak to me as a sort of mentor but as a friend as well.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Ms Coppock told me: \u201cAnother thing that women value about here is that we don\u2019t ask them to tell their story again. It happens so many times that they\u2019re getting retraumatised by having to answer \u2013 why are you here? How have you got to this point?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Street Life runs outreach services three nights a week, supporting women on the street with advice and supplies, and encouraging them to come to the women\u2019s centre.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">They also offer daytime one-to-one services, giving advice on issues such as housing. A lot of the women they help live in temporary accommodation such as hostels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Ms Linnie-Godden said: \u201cSometimes they just want to come in and talk about what was on TV.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cLove Island &#8230; and I\u2019m a Celeb \u2013 it\u2019s really nice,\u201d Ms Coppock said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cThey really do feel invisible sometimes,\u201d Ms Linnie-Godden added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Ms Coppock told me: \u201cIt\u2019s tough, there\u2019s not always something tangible at the end of it. We haven\u2019t made them well, we haven\u2019t made everything perfect for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cSometimes I say this to the team. They\u2019re like, she hasn\u2019t managed to get to this or she\u2019s not engaging with that \u2013 but what\u2019s a result is the fact that they\u2019ve answered a text message to you or they\u2019ve answered the door when you\u2019ve been round.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cThat\u2019s a result for them because they then know that there\u2019s someone there.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><figure class=\"wp-block-media-text__media\" style=\"background-image:url(https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6-682x1024.jpg);background-position:50% 50%\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"682\" height=\"1024\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6-682x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-80471 size-full\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6-682x1024.jpg 682w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6-770x1155.jpg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6-1024x1536.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6-293x440.jpg 293w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6.jpg 1333w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 682px) 100vw, 682px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"682\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6-682x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-80471 size-full\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6-682x1024.jpg 682w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6-770x1155.jpg 770w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6-1024x1536.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6-293x440.jpg 293w, https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2023\/12\/Article-6.jpg 1333w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 682px) 100vw, 682px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right has-small-font-size\"><strong>The positive affirmation tree at the centre.<\/strong> Credit: Eoin McCaul<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-large-font-size\">Hopes for the future<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cWhat I\u2019d like the centre to work towards now, is getting more funding to stay open later and on weekends. It\u2019s needed \u2013 we can\u2019t just be here during the daytime hours,\u201d Ms Linnie-Godden said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Ms Coppock added: \u201cThe other thing we\u2019d really like is our own hostel. We want a little four to six-bed place where we can be, and have a multi-agency team based there. So have drugs workers, mental health workers \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">\u201cThat\u2019s my wish.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cThe centre saved my life to be honest with you. I was lost before I came here. I used to get into trouble all the time. These people saved me in my eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1042,"featured_media":79753,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[92,2,14,3],"tags":[1291,10,1516,227,1750,339],"coauthors":[8535],"class_list":["post-79732","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-city","category-featured","category-longer-reads","category-news","tag-cardiff-2","tag-charity","tag-christmas","tag-community","tag-domestic-abuse","tag-wales"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>&#039;I was lost before I came here&#039;: Christmas with a charity helping &#039;invisible women&#039; - The Cardiffian<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cardiffjournalism.co.uk\/thecardiffian\/2023\/12\/16\/i-was-lost-before-i-came-here-christmas-with-a-charity-helping-invisible-women\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"&#039;I was lost before I came here&#039;: Christmas with a charity helping &#039;invisible women&#039; - The Cardiffian\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cThe centre saved my life to be honest with you. I was lost before I came here. I used to get into trouble all the time. 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