In the first of a four-part series, Hannah Prydderch speaks to one mother about pregnancy in the time of Covid
ANY new parents know how valuable it is to be able to put your feet up and relax.
Becoming a parent, although a blessing, is never easy at the best of times. The physical exhaustion, the mental and emotional toll can be a lot to cope with.
The media paints those early experiences as a constant joyous celebration, full of baby classes, coffee dates and the epitome of Britishness – going to the pub to wet the baby’s head.
Then on March 23, 2020, the world as many parents and expectant parents knew it turned upside down.
In a time that often feels isolated and stressful, mothers have relied on each other for help and support. Yet the pandemic has forced many of them to stay at home, as nurseries and schools were closed to all but key workers.
Chuhan’s Story: Lockdown’s unexpected gift
Chuhan Jing, 30, already had her hands full when lockdown started, with a two-and-a-half and four-year-old needing to be kept occupied.
But then early into lockdown, she suddenly found herself expecting a new arrival to the family and the conflicting emotions that come along with having a baby during a very challenging time.
“I was worried about the future. It was not my plan to have a baby in such a difficult time, but it’s a gift so we accepted it.
“I was always planning to have three kids so at first, I felt happy. Then I felt lost because I had no idea how can I keep two kids at home, be pregnant and then have a third child?” she said.
Feeling afraid and lost is not uncommon for parents and attending scans and the baby’s birth are often some of the major bonding moments for parents, but Chuhan, like many other women, was forced to go through these major stages alone.
“Because it’s my third child I’m kind of experienced. I was disappointed and felt lonely, but I could handle that because I knew the procedure.
“I hoped my husband could share the joy with me, and all my kids to surprise them seeing the baby,” Chuhan said.
The birth in December proved to be even more stressful after recovering from an induction, someone on her ward tested positive for Covid, which meant she was forced to self-isolate at home for 14 days with her newborn baby.
Her difficult start in life became even more challenging, after she was diagnosed with a genetic disease which has caused permanent problems to her face at only three months old.
Delays in seeing a doctor meant that Mrs Jing was forced to wait for two months to get a diagnosis, even her GP did not know what was going on.
To add to this anxious time, Chuhan’s children have had to deal with trying to learn English during the pandemic.
The family from Cathays, moved to Cardiff from China in October 2019. As her children could not speak any English, she and her husband sent them to a nursery, but in an instant the teaching, which she sees as vital, was ripped away.
“Their language development at the moment is not good enough to go to school. I barely can speak English at home because it’s just me and my husband, we talk in Mandarin, so sometimes my brain is not working about English at all,” she said.
Chuhan added: “Their language has made very little progress at the moment even though we have stayed here for a long time. I’m worried because my daughter needs to go to reception this year.”
The pandemic has seen communities and families ripped apart, making what can be an often lonely time for mothers even more isolating.
“Sometimes I have the urge to ask my friend ‘can I go to your house after the pandemic’ because I really want to see a real person and my children sometimes asking, ‘can we go outside to see friend or something like that?’ And I’m saying no.
“But they they’re confused. They don’t understand what’s happening,” she added.
One of the hardest parts for Chuhan is being unable to see her extended family. Usually, they would travel to China every six months, attending major cultural events, such as the Spring Festival.
Chuhan’s mother even planned to travel to the UK in December to support her after the baby was born. Chuhan said the busy household and lack of additional support early on has meant these early months have been a very stressful time for her.
“I’m under a lot of pressure because they have sibling battles at home, and I can’t have my time to rest as I’m always surrounded by the children.
“I’m either playing with them, tidying the house or doing some cleaning jobs. My husband did help me a lot, but we have three kids.
“They need our full attention, so it’s basically like a 24 hour job to us at the moment,” she added.
Nevertheless, if there is one thing we have all learnt during the pandemic, it is not to take for granted the people that we love and the opportunities we have.
“So many things are precious, but we just assume this is common and normal. After the pandemic we found no it isn’t, there’s so many things that are affected. So, we should cherish whatever we had,” she noted.
Mrs Jing asked The Cardiffian not to publish the children’s names.
