A little something to get you laughing in the face of failure
Success is good, but failure is better.
When we are young, we are taught to avoid the ‘F’ word. From flopping a test or falling off a bike, to botching a job interview or fumbling over words on a first date, we are all familiar with the concept of ‘failure’. Yet somehow, the word remains off limits – dirty, dreaded and maybe even feared.
On our worst of days, fuzzy wishful thinking whispers ‘failure is a natural ingredient to success’. And while the phrase evokes an ironic eyeroll or a shudder-down-the-spine, what if there’s an element of truth to be found in its meaning? What if failure itself was something to be inspired by? What if facing failure head-on led us in the direction of discovery?
Failure, though unavoidable, often costly and sometimes embarrassing, has a discrete and unassuming way of making life a little better and brighter. At least, it certainly creates a great story or two.
By laughing at life’s redirections, hiccups and mishaps, we can learn to wear failure as a badge of honour and like how it looks in the mirror. We can learn to make room for error and give up the suffocating idea that faultlessness is the only route we can take – as if we’re never going to
make a mess every so often, call our managers ‘mum’ by mistake (we’ve all been there), or
find ourselves stuck in between the office revolving doors on our first day of work.
Now, this doesn’t mean setting out to fail, anticipating the worst or giving up before we’ve begun. In fact, it doesn’t even look like raising our hands and abandoning hope for success. Instead, it means being okay with the experiences that make us human – welcoming all that is
fragile and unfinished.
While the Cambridge Dictionary plainly defines failure as “a lack of success”, on a more uplifting note, we can think of no shortage of entertaining alternatives. Therefore, in light of celebrating life in all its slip-ups (and in the spirit of not taking it too seriously) here are 26 new ways of saying the word we know so well.
Here’s to the ones who trip over their own feet in their quest for perfection; to the ones confidently pushing the doors labelled ‘pull’; to the ones standing at the intersection of ‘total mess’ and ‘work of art’; to the self-doubters and self-help naysayers… to the ones who are failing and trying again.
Put your feet up, grab a coffee and while you’re at it, try not to spill it.
A: Awry
/əˈrʌɪ/ – When things don’t happen the way we planned. The word is said to date back to the late 14th century and means ‘away from the usual or expected course’.
B: Belly up
/ˈbɛli ʌp/ – Hopelessly defeated. The idiomatic expression is based on the idea of an animal lying ‘belly up’ and is often used to describe financial failure. The first known use of the phrase was in 1880.
C: Couch potato
/kaʊtʃ pəˈteɪtəʊ/ – Created by a 1970s comic artist who drew lazy characters he called ‘couch potatoes’. Today, perfectly illustrating the reality of our lives in lockdown.
D: Debacle
/deɪˈbɑːk(ə)l/ – A sudden and ignominious failure. A fiasco. Deriving from French débâcle meaning downfall and disaster. In literal terms, the phrase refers to breaking up ice on a river.
E: Epic fail
/ˈɛpɪk feɪl/ – The highest form of fail known to man. As eloquently put by the Urban Dictionary, a mistake of such monumental proportions that it requires its own term.
F: Flounder
/ˈflaʊndə/ – While many know Flounder to be the happy yellow guppy fish from The Little Mermaid, the word ‘flounder’, originating from Old French flondre, means to struggle clumsily in mud or water, to move awkwardly or to experience great difficulties.
G: Glitch
/ɡlɪtʃ/ – Deriving from Yiddish and stemming from glitsh meaning ‘glide’ or ‘slip’. The word began as technical jargon among radio and television engineers in the early 1940s. Today, the term refers to unexpected setbacks and short-lived faults.
H: Hiccup
/ɡlɪtʃ/ – Deriving from Yiddish and stemming from glitsh meaning ‘glide’ or ‘slip’. The word began as technical jargon among radio and television engineers in the early 1940s. Today, the term refers to unexpected setbacks and short-lived faults.
I: Implosion
/ɪmˈpləʊʒ(ə)n/ – An instance of something bursting. In its early use, the term, modeled on ‘explosion’, referred to the effect of deep sea pressures.
J: Jumble
/ˈdʒʌmb(ə)l/ – Untidy, confused, and messy. The history of this word stretches back to the 1520s and is said to be a form of onomatopoeia, linking to ‘stumble’ and ‘tumble’.
K: Kagagalan
The Sundanese translation of ‘failure’ and simply a very funny tongue twister.
L: Lemon
/ˈlɛmən/ – “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” is a saying coined by American writer, philosopher and artist, Elbert Hubbard, and is used to inspire optimism in the face of misfortune, difficulty or failure.
M: Misslyckande
In case you’ve ever wondered how to say ‘failure’ in Swedish.
N: Ne’er do well
/ˈɛpɪk feɪl/ – The highest form of fail known to man. As eloquently put by the Urban Dictionary, a mistake of such monumental proportions that it requires its own term.
O: Odpoved
To ‘quit’, ‘cancel’ or ‘fail’ in Slovenian.
P: Palaver
/pəˈlɑːvə/ – A nautical slang word used by sailors dating back to 1733 and referring to a long talk or tedious discussion (‘palavering’). The word originates from the Portuguese palavra meaning ‘to speak’ and is now used in English to describe a ‘fuss’ or ‘bother’.
Q: Quibi
The American video platform that crashed and burned barely six months after its launch in April 2020.
R: Rike
A ‘technical failure’ or ‘fault’ in Estonian.
S: Schaudenfreude
/ˈʃɑːd(ə)nˌfrɔɪdə/ – Meaning ‘damage-joy’ in German. A gleeful moment of guilty pleasure and enjoying the mishaps of others (think You’ve Been Framed, Total Wipeout or slapstick comedy energy). As Brits, laughing at other people’s slip-ups is as much part of our culture as drinking tea and talking about the weather.
T: Trump
/trʌmp/ – Because it’s hardly possible to talk about failure without mentioning the expert.
U: Ukwehluleka
The Zulu translation of ‘failure’.
V: Vika
Imperfection, wrinkle and stain in Finnish.
W: Washout
/ˈwɒʃaʊt/ – Originally referring to ‘calling off an event due to bad weather’. From 1902, the word was used to describe a ‘disappointing failure’.
X: Xilof
As well as being a type of water lily, ‘xilof’ also translates to ‘fail’ in Uzbek.
Y: Yуңышсызлык
We double dare you to pronounce ‘failure’ in Tatar – a language of the Turkic family spoken in west-central Russia, Romania, Bulgaria, Turkey and China.
Z: Zombie
/ˈzɒmbi/ – Simply put, a failed human. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, a zombie is someone who has no energy (how we all feel during 9am Zoom meetings).